Friday, April 14, 2006

Poop: Everyone does it...

This thread originally started at Davo's site, then bounced over to 4Dinners site... Davo made note that everyone was leaving out the poop stories. Here ya go:

son: Dada? I had to throw up last night.

hubby: I know. Mama told me.

son: Then I had to pee, so I did. But for some reason poop came out too. I pooped on mama. It was an accident.

hubby: Hmm, most people have to pay extra for that...

son: Can I have some money?

hubby: For what?

son: To give to mama. I didn't know I had to pay her last night.


There, Davo and 4D. This post ammends my previous comment about love, sex, death, and, eh, poop on 4D's site. (i left out the pooping part on my original comment because i didn't want to have to explain why i had to use a sink for the deed in France...) So....Yes, mama got pooped on for free last night. Right. Gotta go catch up on some laundry.

21 comments:

bob said...

Here's mine.

At my father's 60th birthday bash, my 2-year old son wandered about and had a grand time, eating chocolate cake, saucisson sec aux fins herbs (dried sausage with herbs), stinky cheese, pickles, cookies, fruit and ham.

In the wee hours of the morning, to the sounds of great distress, he vomited up an evil pool of mixed food, which my wife and I dutifully cleaned up, swapped his sheets, gave him a quick bath, and put him back to bed.

An hour later, to the sounds of great distress, he let loose an absolutely horrific bowel movement of such liquidity and such prodigious odor that my wife, who reached him first, retched as well. I managed to suppress the urge, and dutifully cleaned up, swapped his sheets, gave him a quick bath, and put him back to bed.

To this day this remains one of the most memorable parenting experiences we've had, unfortunately.

Ron said...

How do I bill Life for pooping on me?

Respectfully,

The Commenter

d34dpuppy said...

at least ur not coprophobic

Melanie said...

Aw! How cute is your kid? I love being pooped on - makes me feel so loved and adored.

FOUR DINNERS said...

You pooped in a French sink?? Love it. That'll teach 'em to be cruel to snails n frogs.

You love bein' pooped on DC???

This is a worry....

d34dpuppy said...

i will not tell u abot crappin my pants in kindergarden it was embarrassing

bob said...

Any upper-deckers in this crowd?

Hattigrace said...

Hope you have a Happy Easter!

FOUR DINNERS said...

Whas an 'upper-decker'? Do I really want to know?

d34dpuppy said...

this is 4 neil upper deckers:
The act of defecating in the upper tank of the toilet. When the next poor unsuspecting person flushes the toilet they get a bowl of beef stew. the upper decker is a weapon of terror and should only be used on people who deserve it.

FOUR DINNERS said...

I will soon retire to the management toilets with some ladders and join the upper deckers club. This'll be fun

Camie Vog said...

thank you, deadpuppy for that rather discriptive piece of information...that will forever be filed in my archives, and may come in handy the next time I'm in France...

the cappuccino kid said...

the one time i decide to borrow wifeys car on my day off. i had the boy with me. we were going to feed the ducks. he was in his car seat drinking blackcurrant juice all nice and quiet. next thing i know it is like a re-enactment of the exorcist! purple liquid vomit everywhere! all over the back seat of the car, down the boy and worst of all down my neck! pulled over to clean him up and try to calm him some how. what a stench!next came the shit! never seen nappies like it. phoned wifey, she rang the doctors, he sent us all to the hospital. gastro enteritis! cleared up in a couple of days but the smell lingered in the car and house for weeks!
nasty.

oh and the nickname?
cub camp, 8/9 years old. bursting for a piss, got halfway to the lavs, couldn't hold it anymore. pissed at the side of the path, in a puddle. frothed up. cries of "fizzy pop" ensued, and around the time of the kiddy film bugsy malone which had a character named fizzy. and it has stuck for 27 years!

bob said...

Parents can tell war stories like this all day long. BTW - the UD is definitely a WMD, and should never be used.

Sir Stewart Wallace said...

See! Everyone loves a good story about shite!

Must remember never to piss off d34dpuppy....

d34dpuppy said...

naw, davo, i just leave a little land mine on tha front porch

Melanie said...

4D - yes, poop. I have issues. LOL Camie, I was forced to delete my bragging comments. Apparently I've embarrassed everyone in the family who would never speak of such things. It's like the movie "The Village" - "The things of which we do not speak" I swear. Once I brought the house/movie up to my Mother-in-Law and she said "Oh yes, I almost forgot about that." Hmmmm... Anyway, that house has been sold, and for a ridiculous amount of money, and the new owners want "privacy". Think, late 80's family movie, north shore chicago style.
And since I'm a rebel (look at me, hiding in your comment section, instead of mine) Paul says Michael Madsen is funny, laid back and nice, Liz Phair is ew, Hal Sparks used to say he'd never drink, and that he would donate his liver to science, Scottie Pippen is a jerk, Stephen Baldwin is the nicest, kindest, funniest Baldwin, and I can't even remember any more right now. The ones we ran into in So. Cal. were just momentary..."hey, I saw so-n-so" So I have no opinion on any of them. Just that most of them are not as attractive in real life, and Fabio's head is even bigger in person. It's a very strange thing - that head of his. 'Cept for Iman, she is GORGEOUS in real life.
So sorry for going on in your comments. I had to delete mine because people were having collective strokes. Geez.

Camie Vog said...

Dusty,
Late '80s family movie...hmm...Ferris Beuller? Home Alone? Oh! Oh! 16 Candles?!? Or, Weird Science?? E.T, Back to the Future, Beetlejuice, Footloose, Karate Kid? I know! It's Reform School Girls! Nah, that's not so family...
I like Liz Phair's music...but after hearing an interview with her on Fresh Air, I suspected she was kinda "ew"...Michael Madsen, yeah, I'd like to see his house...Just say no to all brothers with the last name of Baldwin, no matter how nice they seem (Billy seems to be off his rocker). Pippin, well he was a jerk on the court, part of his appeal in terms of basketball. Only a jerk would smile for a police mug shot, and leave a $6.00 tip for a $124.00 restaurant bill...
Dusty, you can fill my comment field anytime!

* (asterisk) said...

All this talk of "poop" and no mention of Whitney? Shame on you, Camie.

Camie Vog said...

You mean, Shitney?
Okay, everyone go to asterisks blog and that'll explain the Shitney reference. Many thanks to both asterisk and Fluffy Stuffin' in regards to this. hahahaha

Lucky said...

LMAO!