Thursday, August 03, 2006

Let me introduce myself...

Meow! My name is Sully McBullers. I am the cat of the one who calls herself Camie. This photo is an indignity to my cat persona. Before this photo was taken, I was enjoying my 3 hour nap on MY couch. I was rudely interupted by the boy who shares this flat with me. Camie tells me I am fat, and resemble an aircraft carrier when I sleep on my side. All I know is that while enjoying my slumber, her boy insisted on using me as a platform for his solid wood blocks. Camie found my situation funny. I did not. Look into my eyes! Do I look amused?!? And they wonder why I like to bite.

(This post was originally going to end here....until THIS happened!)

Back to biting.... I finally had some time to myself. They took that little boy away to some science museum. When they returned, the boy was very happy and was playing with this tube thing that glowed green. The boy looked like he really liked this glow thing. He even wagged it in my FACE, saying that it was his new glow stick. I do not like it when he shoves things in my face. He has no respect for me!!

Some time went by and the boy grew tired of this glowing tube and set it down on the floor next to me. Now I had my chance to get that boy back for putting those blocks on me earlier. My teeth are long and sharp, perfect for chewing favorite toys. I sunk my fangs into the tube and.....AAAARRRGGGG!!! MEOW, MEOW, HOWL!!! I shook my head to rid my mouth of this rotten taste, and bits of green spattered onto the carpet. I ran and ran, trying to get away from the taste. Camie noticed this running I was doing. I never run, I am too fat to exert myself in this manner under normal circumstances. "What is wrong with you?" Camie yelled at me. Realizing I needed help, I stopped, looked at her straight on and howled. "Holy shit! The cat is foaming green at the mouth!" she screamed. I tried running again, but this time I was snatched up by the big man hands of Camie's husband. I knew I was in trouble, because he never touches me.

Next thing I know, I am being squeezed tightly. My paws, with my sharp claws, were bound by the man hands. This big man was carrying me into the kitchen, towards the SINK. He crammed my portly body into the sink, aiming my head in the direction of the WATER faucet!! Camie, who I thought loved me, TURNED on the WATER. My entire head, mouth, nose and face was completely saturated!! Had they forgotten that I hate water?!? But...but....hey, my mouth felt better, my taste had returned...the burning and foaming had stopped. They HAD helped me. The big man hands released me, and I ran for cover under their bed. I stayed there for half an hour, then decided I should thank them for their assistance. I rubbed their legs in thanks and returned to MY couch for a much needed rest.

12 comments:

Melanie said...

Wow! What an amazing post!!! Can't wait til stinkin' blogger will let you load the photo. :)

Pie said...

Poor puddy tat.

Good job it never happened in the middle of the night or there would've been a set of glowing green teeth floating around the house giving people nightmares!

d34dpuppy said...

wots in that stuff? i wonder if it kills people if thay bite it
glas sully is ok now tho

Minerva Jane said...

Cats are too much. One of my cats got his hind paw caught in the curtain cord--I woke to him yowling as he swung back and forth in front of the window.

Jezebelsriot said...

Oh woman, I just spit vanilla shake through my nose. I love cat stories.

Lhonez said...

I like cat. Tastes like chicken.

StripeySocks said...

OH MY GOD CAMIE YOUR CAT CAN TYPE!!!
My cat can't type. He can bite though. He is a sneaky black ninja-kitty who likes to jump out of closets and mutilate the feet of innocent passers-by.
Your kitty seems nicer.
They they you put blocks on them.

Amy said...

:) every time something happens to you, i hear it from my mom and ron, even in cincinnati....

C. H. Green said...

I think that stuff is non-toxic. I read on the package of some glow sticks my son had punctured. Luckily he was in the bathroom and all that glowed when you turned out the light was the garbage. LOL

Red said...

The horror... The horror...

That must have been very humiliating for lil' Sully, poor kitten. Hope he's doing better now.

FOUR DINNERS said...

So foaming green at the mouth isn't normal? uh oh.....

Cat said...

People are evil, and make no mistake. My heart goes out to you, Sully.