Thursday, September 07, 2006

At least it's not Mumps...

Yesterday, during lunch, I felt the left side of my face swell. The swelling came with intense pain under my left ear and jaw. Odd, I thought. No problems, right? I am a trained/certified Lymphatic Bodyworker... I could fix this. I worked on it for about an hour, nothing worked. Fuck! I had to work on clients after this occured to me. Luckily, I still haven't gotten my hair cut, so I pulled it down over my ear in hopes of concealing it from my clients. Only I knew how horrific it felt and looked.

Later, after attempting to eat dinner, the mass enlarged even more to the size of a tennis ball. Stinging pain, jaw nearly immobile, I phoned my mom. I explained my symptoms to her, and sat in horror as she said that it sounded like Mumps. Fuck, again! (Me: Haven't I had Mumps? Mom: No Me: Did you have me vacinated for them? Mom: I think, I can't remember. You really should see a doctor.) Being pregnant, this worried me. I raced to the computer to see if little baby was at risk. No, no, the fetus will be fine. Phew! But, the Mumps! No way! I had to wait until the morning to get to the doctor. It had decreased in size, and she said it wasn't Mumps and that it didn't look that bad. I told her it doubles in size when I eat. With glee (!), she left the office and came back in with a cookie and told me to eat it. Within seconds, the tennis ball reappeared with that searing pain. My doctor laughed and said I had a stone trapped in the saliva gland. Her order of treatment was to apply heat and suck on sour lemon candy in order to release more spit from the gland to dislodge it. I also have to see a specialist to check the size of it. If I can't get it out on my own, they will cut into my neck and fish it out for me. Nice.

Mentally, I like getting older. Physically aging is pretty sucky (no pun intended). I have spent the last two hours with a scalding hot water bottle on my neck, sucking these candies which make the tennis ball and pain return. I am thankful that I have been very healthy in my past 37 years. Geez, normal people get stones in their kidneys. Me, no, I always have to be the odd one out. Per usual.

13 comments:

The Grand Inquisitor said...

that sounds like a lot of fun. sorry about the pain. i agree getting old physically stinks. thanks for your nice comment about my "reunion" post

Life, or Something Like It said...

Thank goodness it isn't something worse. I've never even heard of something like that before. Hope you're feeling better, I was wondering what had happened to you....

* (asterisk) said...

That sounds nasty, Camie. Even so, be thankful it ain't mumps, or kidney stones for that matter. Hope you can get it out on your own.

the cappuccino kid. said...

bet you look like a hamster! sorry, but someone had to say it!

her indoors said...

ah poor you never heard of that one hope it goes soon, could have a new name cammie the hammie! sorry!

Pie said...

Wow, that's really odd. Never heard of something like that before.

I hope they don't have to resort to cutting it out.

zeneric said...

so did ya finally get it out? where is that supposed to come out of? jeeezus, camie i've never heard of that either. hope you feeling better and i'll agree that older psyhically really blows, my back and feet hurt i always seem to want to take a nap. sometimes i feel like grandpa simpson.they ain't gonna have to cut are they?

Camie Vog said...

It's still in there. I was also wondering where the exit point will be. In my mouth?? Eating is a real challenge, since that is when spit likes to happen. I don't mind the hot water bottle, but the lemon drops create intense pain. I do sort of look like a hamster (only on the left side) when it gets large. I kinda like the name Camie the Hammie.

Ron said...

Cammie the Hammie has got all kinds of T shirt possibilities. Hamsters with glasses! and tats! and let's not forget the L'il Ham!




verif word: zkockn ("zucan?")

Laura said...

Poor girl! I'm glad it's not mumps, too. You're strong not to be mashing around on it, trying to force the stone out, since that's what I'd be doing.

I didn't comment on the prior post, it has a perfect 12 comments. I love that video from Sesame Street! My Fry doesn't get the fascination with Sesame Street old school, but I love it. When I wax poetic about the Street, she pats me on the head and goes, "Thaaat's nice, Mom. Thaaaat's nice."

dilling said...

Ouch...I have had that, too, though not even close to tennis ball size!!!!
Good luck...

lee said...

bizarro! so many things to go wrong in our fragile little casings!

dilling said...

wow, talk about timing...I was trying for a while to respond but couldn't get Blogger to cooperate...but it looks as if all is well now!!!! Just in time for the weekend, too! Thank goodness.