Thursday, September 21, 2006

"I'm the patron saint of denial..."

Ugg! Boredom. From a hermit who is sick of being in the house. I'm a Gen-Xer in search of reform. Fuck off Douglas Coupland. Your last book sucked. You even wrote yourself in it as a character, showing me you've become a Reagan-era prick. What is it like to buy your own health insurance and not beg it off the Fed's like I have too?

Fuck off to the rental ghetto I live in, where the offspring of miss spent youth create their own Fight Club in the courtyard for the under ten set. Fuck off to the welfare mothers who live here, who think their kids are too good to play with my kid. Despite the fact that my kid is far more intellegent than theirs, and that he could actually teach their kids more than a few things of importance. Fuck off to the rich bastards of this city who don't hesitate to drop hundreds of dollars on useless shit to attempt to make them feel anything. Fuck off to people who don't return a real smile because they are afraid the first smile hides an agenda that might make them feel uncomfortable. Fuck off to the uneducated teenage youth who troll the rental ghetto, ready to drop a race card at you if you even look in their direction. Jesus, I left the ghetto of Flint, Michigan for this mask of a community in search of tolerance. What a joke this economy has made of this city. It really is turning into an area of rats looking for a piece of the pie. I am not a rat, but where do I go now? Do I continue to look within for the real change?

Over and over.... You can reminisce over the past. When does it rectify? Things can set it off. Movies, "Before Sunset" "After Sunset" "Eyes Wide Shut", "Trainspotting", "Platoon". Music, the entire Grunge era, the Stooges, old Red Hot Chili Peppers, Oasis. Scents, cigarette smoke in cold December air, the smell of the interior of any Volkswagon before 1994.... Even heart shaped tattoos.

What is the one time in your life that you could comfortabley revisit if you could? You're only allowed one time. If only conscience alternative existance were permited...


title credit: "St. Jimmy" by Green Day

excuse me while I vent my spleen...

29 comments:

Ron said...

Spleen venting works for me! I have a couple of targets that I plaster frequently! It's good to see a bit of biliousness out of the Vog, it's a leading indicator of change! Poseurs and frauds here in A2? What a shock! Hell, I've been hired and fired by half of them! Every where you go things suck, it's just a question of how much and about what! We're hardassed enough to endure all this and doubly more, 'cause this is how we roll in the A Deuce!

Anonymous said...

Well I think the one time in my life I would revist would be when I had just left school and was working in a factory in my home town, the factory made suitcases and was called antler luggage, this was the best job I had lots of fun and met lots of wonderful people and some of them I am still intouch with 15yrs on.

her indoors said...

well fucking said! hope you feel better now

Anonymous said...

******** ****'S left breast at my sisters sixteenth birthday party when i was thirteen!
thats where i want to be. especially with the skills i have picked up since!

Anonymous said...

ah yes. venting makes you feel so much better. i think actually that this time in my life is the best--despite certain recurring problems. not as shy as i was in high school; not as poor as i was in grad...

Cynnie said...

I lived in the projects when i was a teen ..( 15 year old mothers do not normally live in fine mansions)
It was fucking hell..
Cause there's a difference in being poor and being trash.( of any color)
Athens georgia baby!..
sounds nice huh?
Lets move there!
I'll be the nanny

Pie said...

16, making friends, going to festivals, getting drunk, laying in the sun.

Oh misspent youth...

Still, should've actually done more work at the time.

I only have the Government to say fuck off to at the moment, but they've stopped answering my phonecalls, letters, emails and fuck-off-o-grams.

Life, or Something Like It said...

We just moved out of a ghetto. It was hellish. We finally have a house (we rent, too) that feels like home. Unfortunately, it's next door to a rooming house full of drunks and addicts. I know, they need to live somewhere, too, but why is it ALWAYS beside ME?
Do you feel better now? A good rant always helps.
You may be right about us...Spooky, isn't it?

Life, or Something Like It said...

Oops! I forgot.. I would revisit my days living in Nova Scotia, I think. I was 17, and living near the ocean with my then boyfriend and his family. I miss the ocean SOO much...

Ranting Dullard said...

Taken to a bit of ranting eh? Maybe take some time out for YOU..it doesnt matter where you are in the world, we know its imperfect I suppose.

I wish I could prescribe you a nice relaxing break in the mountians over looking the coast. Instead, I may just send you a little something in the post (but you need to email me an address).

d34dpuppy said...

i would go back 2 tha age of 4 that isb4 tha world went 2 shite

Cynnie said...

OOOH!..
I want an address too!..
I got stuff for da baby!
( superstitious catholic crap ..I'm campaigning to be the god mother)

tideliar said...

I lived in the ghetto when I was unemployed in DC...fun place. I was one of the few not mugged at gun point in the parking lot...ho hum. I really must be terribly tough.

Anyway, Cammie, your sound track should be "Aenima" by Tool

"Fuck L. Ron Hubbard and fuck all his clones,
Fuck all you hip, gun totting gangster-boy wannabe's,
Fuck all you junkies and fuck your short memories..."

etc. etc. etc.

adapt lyrics to suit...

bob said...

I'd visit those two short years when I lived above a bar in tree town. One woman's cesspool-stained lawn is another man's fragrant patch of grass, I guess.

Melanie said...

I might live in picture-perfect Suburbia, but I grew up in several of those rental communities. I think there are very few places right now that are very progressive and have an ounce of prosperity. Bush & Co. have taken the economy into the toilet, but don't know it, because their set doesn't feel it.

I work for a hospital foundation and one of the things we fund is "Special Needs" where we cover prescription drug expenses for people who can't afford it. We actually had one woman call and bitch us out, because she told us that if she could afford medication why couldn't those people get a job and pay for it, too. Come to find out, this bitch was left a good chunk of money from her husband's will (he was 20 years her senior).

You and your hubby may want to look at relocating West. It won't be paradise, but it may be better than Michigan.

If I could revisit any time in my life, it would be that moment when I was 18 and decided to take my mother's advice and give up going to UCLA to stay in Boise, because she knew what was best for me, and I wanted to make her happy. If I knew then what I know now, I would have kissed her good-bye and been off to California with a middle finger in the air.

FOUR DINNERS said...

Well vented babe. Where'd i like to revisit? 77 - 83 I guess. Not sure what happened then but I know it was fun.

Camie Vog said...

Camie,
what a thought provoking piece over there on your blog. damn. i tried to leave a comment but the red x came up. after i get home tonight i want to write my own journal in answer to yours. where would i go back to? good question. would i want to go back? (shrugs) i wouldn't change a thing that happened. i have about five minutes before i'm off to the grind so i can't get deep, just a message saying you got my gears going and if i don't write some shit down on paper instead of stream of thought i'm gonna lose half of it. i have a bqt for 15 ppl tonight. chix marsala and i don't give a fuck about line prep so i have time in between to write some shit down. nice work and if half the ppl who read that piece actually understood about flint........

Camie Vog said...

Oops, that last comment was from my buddy Zeneric (also from Flint). He had problems posting it on blogger, so he left it for me on MySpace. I copied it and posted it for him!!

Ron said...

hmmm...except for a few small stretches here and there, there is no time in my life worth going back to for any significant length of time. Guess that's one I have to look forward to!

Hattigrace said...

Don't you think venting on a blog is so much better? First, it goes out "in print", so it looks so official. Second, you get caring responses and support in return. No one judges or makes snyde remarks (or at least I didn't see any).

And later, when things do get better, it gives you a record of how life is cyclical and doesn't stay yechy.

ldbug said...

Ugh, sounds like you needed to vent! So sorry for the sucky neighborhood.

Best times to revisit? (1) 5yrs old, summer in Montana, best summer ever. I still remember it pretty vividly
(2) End of August 2005, in Italy for the first time for a conference. Met so many friends, swam in the Mediteranean, walked through Tuscany, saw and did and learned so much. Would re-visit that week over and over if I could.

Life, or Something Like It said...

It's tuesday...where are you? You ok?

The Grand Inquisitor said...

Might I suggest "Paris Spleen" by Baudelaire?

unborn baby vog said...

HI all Mom & Dad found out that I the new baby is going to be a girl.

mom will post later
by for now back to the womb

a.c.t said...

Wow congratulations Camie. Pink all the way.....

FOUR DINNERS said...

'N you've got a great mom n dad waitin' for yer little'un.

Love n hugs from 4D, Caz n Jax
xxxxxx

Jax says Jacqui is a great name.
Caz says Siana is a great name.
I say anything but Winifred.

Jezebelsriot said...

Wonderful fucking blog, seems we're both in a bit of a despairing mood. We need to get together and just kick things, maybe light a fire. Some productive release :-)

* (asterisk) said...

Sounds like you're having a shitty time of it. A good spleen-venting was definitely in order. Hope you're feeling a bit over the funk now.

To answer your question, I don't think I'd revisit any time in my life cos I'm happy right here right now. That said, sometimes we lose people in life, and it would be nice to have a little more time with them, knowing how little time there is.

And congrats to Baby Girl Vog on making her gender known!

Anonymous said...

A girl!!..omg..
Cynthia is a LOVELY name!..but dont call her cyndi..We'll call her Cyna..aww..

okay I'm delusional..

But congrats..
you are entering what will officially be remembered as the best years of your life..
remember that when you want to runaway and hide.

cynnie