Wednesday, November 15, 2006

"I had too much to dream last night..."

I rarely, if ever, talk about my sex life on this blog. Don't get all happy, thinking that I am going to start now, because I'm not. I will, however, devulge a little of what has been happening in my dream state.

I have noticed an increase of really strange dreams since finding out that I am pregnant. It has to be the abundance of hormones racing through my cells which is causing this. Normally, the dreams take on an "action/adventure" theme. Now they are taking on a whole new James Bond-esque quality, complete with bizarre sexual sub-themes. (Don't worry, my special blog friend. I am not going to mention the ones about you. I will maintain that only you hear about those.)

All righty... last nights dream horror:

I had sex with Oliver North! I seduced him! To top it all off, he started out in full Military dress. Oh, you don't think that is bad? I ended up with Ollie after Bill O'Reilly turned me down! I woke up thinking EEEWWWW! Double EEEEWWWW! Why, oh why, does my brain do this to me. I can't stand Bill O'Reilly, so much so that I am not putting a linky thing in for him. I never watch his show on FoxNews. I don't find him sexy, that is for sure. I also think his voice is nasty. And Ollie, though he looks a little better than Bill, he still isn't a fantasy man. I don't watch his show either, and haven't paid much attention to him since the Iran/Contra affair. I think I may have fallen asleep watching FoxNews late at night, too many times. Yeah, that's it! Totally subliminal. I'm sure of it. Because I'll be damned if I admit that my brain has betrayed me.

Geez, and I thought last weeks sex dream staring the Naked Chef, Jamie Oliver was bad. Least with him I walked out once I realized who he was. Wait! Jamie Oliver...Oliver North...hmmm. Maybe my brain is telling me I need to eat more olives. Yeah. Bill O'Reilly's head is kind of shaped like an olive. Must add olives to shopping list...



title credit: "Too Much To Dream (last night)" by the Electric Prunes.

15 comments:

Life, or Something Like It said...

Poor Camie! I hate dreams like this. I think that one of my worst sex dreams involved Drew Carey. Don't worry, I won't rehash that dream, even in my own head....Shudder.....

princessoctober said...

Don't worry while your preggers you will have the weirdest most insanely cracked dreams. One of my most memorable involved Freddy Krueger as my childs " real " father....very scary. Some mornings you will wake up and think What the F*c& was that all about. But, if you think about the fact your body is building a whole new human, well, its easy to let go of. Good luck..and by the way I think I may need more olives myself...mmmm.

Ron said...

When they become Newt Gengrich and Erwin Rommel, you'd better lay off the sauerkraut!

Not long ago, you and Mighty Kim were walking me through Amsterdam's red light district to pick the proper hooker for me! Like buying a suit! After making fun of my choices, you picked out several choices, and you demanded payment for your consulting through my buying you both Grolsch and spliff! Kim and I thumped your stomach like a watermelon and asked the baby if that was ok. She replied in a squeaky Latino voice, like Senor Wences or Topo Gigo, that she would like some suds and smoke! So off you went. Later, after I'm throughly relaxed and you've both passed out, I take you both back to our hotel, each of strapped like a deer on a fender of my Mercedes...

I have dreams like this almost every day...it's very disturbing.

For you maybe the nude O'Reilly calender for Christmas.

eric said...

that is really fucking weird, man!
shall we go to vegas now?

eric said...

p.s. it completely slipped my mind. while we are in vegas, i can take you to OLIVES in the bellagio!!!

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Anonymous said...

can anyone tell us what this dream means, my dream was I was cocooned in my bed by a spider web by one of the smallest spider's ever, can someone explain that one aswell pls.

Ron said...

sure, jo, this one is easy. The spider represents the false idol of material possession. The cocoon says that you are trapped by your wealth and material possessions. If you were to give all these to me, you'll be a free standing person, independent and self-aware.

And if this is not so, I'll think of another explanation for you...later.

Ron said...

Camie and I have a deal. If you bring us all your emotional problems we'll both take a damn good shot at trying to help you, for a decent amount of cash, which camie and I will split. And if we don't solve your problems, you'll be impressed by both our sincerity and our gall, and we'll both feel much better with your coin.

Better'n therapy, because we are funnier than any therapist you've ever had.

FluffyVog Emotional Refinishing Company(FERC)

Gardenia said...

ooooooooooh arghhhhhhhhhhh. I wish I were more versed in dream interpretation - but I tell ya, the dream made a great post! Oliver North? oh my.

Anonymous said...

And you think that I sometimes write kinda gross stuff!?!

OLIVER NORTH!?!?

Steve~

Ranting Dullard said...

Oh yes, sex with horrible people in your dreams yuck!

Maybe you need stuffed olives?

Cynnie said...

And the sad part is Bill O'reilly
turned you down !!
hahahahaaaaaa...

OMG..

The day you dream you had a threeway with ronald reagan and george bush ( senior or junior)..
I'll die laughing.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your words Camie. Rants is gone

Anonymous said...

um.....uh.... oh my

Anonymous said...

Hormones are fun, aren't they!