Saturday, April 29, 2006

Ann Arbor World Wide?

I was out with the family last night on Main Street in Ann Arbor. After our customary Friday meal at Sabor Latino restaurant, we decided to head down Main Street to Peaceable Kingdom. Peaceable Kingdom is a cool store that has high end items as well as little cutesy trinkets for a dollar. The real reason for us going was to see if Tiny, the fairy who lives at the store had recieved the little alpaca scarf I had knit for her (on size 0 needles...equals very small stitches). To see pictures and read more about these unique doors, refer to my links section on the right margin of the blog.

Sure enough, through the inside window of Tiny's fairy shop was the little cream colored scarf. It rested elequently between two beautiful hats in ornate hat boxes. The hat boxes had been left for Tiny a few weeks before we left the scarf. My son was so excited to see it in her shop he began shouting "It's there!". His outburst drew the attention of two older women who began chattering about the fairy door. The youngest of the two women pulled out a newspaper clipping from her granny bag. "Yes, here it is. It says it is the nicest fairy abode in Ann Arbor". My husband asked her what she was reading from. "Oh, we are from Washington D.C. There was an article about these doors in the Washington Post. We flew in this morning", she said. "You flew from D.C. this morning to see the fairy doors?", my husband asked her in disbelief. "No, silly. We are here for graduation", she replied. "Ah! " I say to my husband, "there is a university in this city. I suspected all those buildings around here were used for something important".

Sure enough, our cherished fairy doors have hit the big time. This proves that nothing really is sacred. Thanks to that article, I'm sure Ann Arbor will experience a huge tourist boom. Time to move to Mexico....you think I'm joking about Mexico. More to come about that later...Mexico, that is.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Pac-man Fever!


Oh, yeah...here's that picture of my son's birthday cake. Yep, if it was at all possible, Pac-man would be my sons sibling. The spread of the cake was much bigger than the photo shows. Mini cupcakes were used as the pacdots, full sized cupcakes for the power pellets, and easter egg cupcake molds for the ghosts, all surrounding the glorious 9' round of Pac-man. Other than my son, only one other child at his party knew who Pac-man was...

Thursday, April 20, 2006

"Happy Birthday to you....."


My boy is 4 years old today!


(he obviously takes after his mother)


Friday, April 14, 2006

Poop: Everyone does it...

This thread originally started at Davo's site, then bounced over to 4Dinners site... Davo made note that everyone was leaving out the poop stories. Here ya go:

son: Dada? I had to throw up last night.

hubby: I know. Mama told me.

son: Then I had to pee, so I did. But for some reason poop came out too. I pooped on mama. It was an accident.

hubby: Hmm, most people have to pay extra for that...

son: Can I have some money?

hubby: For what?

son: To give to mama. I didn't know I had to pay her last night.


There, Davo and 4D. This post ammends my previous comment about love, sex, death, and, eh, poop on 4D's site. (i left out the pooping part on my original comment because i didn't want to have to explain why i had to use a sink for the deed in France...) So....Yes, mama got pooped on for free last night. Right. Gotta go catch up on some laundry.

Monday, April 10, 2006

"Guess it makes you someone special. To be in on all the secrets and to tell them. Ain't it entertaining? Keeps your tongue in shape..."

I know you've all been here...You find a blog*, a referal from one of your blog mates. It's a relatively popular blog. Site meter is in the thousands, each of their posts get at least 5-10 comments. Sometimes 20. But for some reason, you can't put your finger on it, you just don't like it. You keep going back, sure there will be "that" post that makes you say "Ah! This is the reason..." After a month of this you snap. You read yet another post of shit and you've had enough! You find yourself in the comment field typing

"Wow. I am the last person you want commenting on this post. (Why am I here?) I choose not to comment on this post because this topic is of no interest to me. It ranks so low on my signifigance meter, I'm not going to waste my time on attempting to expand my horizons concerning it."

You stare at the comment you've written. Try re- writing it to make it sound, well, nicer. Nothing you try works. You debate the ramifications of sending the comment. You know it will bring no good (much like their blog). You'll only appear hyper irrational to its author and their legions of readers...

Finding the backspace key, you give it a nudge and watch your comment disappear. Goodbye. As as after thought, you enter "manage bookmarks" locate the blog title. Highlight. Delete. Goodbye. Life is too short to be obsessed with such petty vanity.

Go to "Good Blogs" folder and sigh happily as you read of scooters, council taxes, out of place muslims and mosques, Chico, identity theft, childhoods at the beach, angst, happiness, sorrow, punk in its prime-now, knitting, government obsurdities, and well, life as you relate to it and how other blog authors do the same.

*no worries...this post is not about a blog on my blog roll. it never made it that far.

title credit "Talks Cheap" by Flipper

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

"ALL HAIL THE GERBIL KING!!!"


4D! I LOVE you! Why is it that you forsake me?!?

I'm sure we could get along if you wore this.



title credit: "Lemmiwinks" by the creators of South Park.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Guns for IPODs!!

Remember a few posts back when I mentioned that I was once married to a conservative, German-American gun freak? During that marriage I was encouraged by said man to purchase a Chinese made SKS assault rifle, which I did. This gun, a glorified "hunting rifle" has been stored in my parents basement since the end of the marriage. I don't need, or want, this gun. It is merely and investment at this point. In the many years its been stored it has doubled in price since I bought it. Many thanks to the Clinton Administrations ban on assault weapons in 1994. Ten years have passed, and Congress allowed the ban to be lifted. Hey! This is a good time to legally sell this weapon and turn the cash over for a much desired IPOD. Fluffy Stuffin' agrees that the sale of this weapon in exchange for a glorious IPOD ranks high on my karmic meter. Yes! Cleanes the old self, embrace the new.

While in my parents basement looking for this gun, my dad comes down and says "I let Klaus* take one of my guns to clean, and I never got it back from him. It was the first gun I ever bought. Do you think he still has it?" "What!?! You tell me this now? I have no idea. I haven't spoken to him since I left him", I reply, exasperated. "Oh, I didn't know you didn't speak to him..." "Geez, dad. Do you still speak to your ex-wife?" "Eh, no. That was over 40 years ago. Why would I speak to her?" "My point exactly, dad".

On the drive back to my house, I kept thinking about how disappointed my dad was over his gun. It was true, I hadn't spoke to Klaus since I left our house key on the table and shut the door, never to return. In other words, I was the perfect ex-wife. I didn't have a number for him, and I wasn't about to call his parents for it. Once home, I grabbed the phone book. I was fairly sure that Klaus' overly paranoid self had a non-published number. H, Himmler*, hmm....Shit! There it was! Himmlr...misspelled, ha. Himmlr, Klaus. I jotted the number down, blocked my cell number via *67 and called his house. This is how it went:

Ring...Ring...

(sweet woman voice) Hello?
(me) Is Klaus there?
(sweet woman voice) Yes, he is. May I ask whose calling?
(me) He's cleaning a gun for my dad.

long pause...phone is set down, and is immediately picked up again.

(angry woman voice) What did you say your name was again?
(me) I didn't. Let me talk to him.

phone is dropped loudly

(Klaus) Hull-Oh?
(me) It's Cami. I was at my parents house today, and my dad
mentioned to me that he let you take a gun of his to clean it
and he never got it back.
(Klaus) Ah, I thought he gave it to me.

loud, unidentifiable yelling in background on his end

(me) Apparently that isn't the case. He said he let you take it to
clean it. It was the first gun he ever bought. I want the gun
back, Klaus. Is there a problem? Did you sell it?
(Klaus) Ah, no, I still have it. Um, I'm really busy....

interupted by an evil sounding woman voice in background. "Tell that fucking cunt never to call MY house again!

(me) If she doesn't want people calling HER house, then you shouldn't
have published YOUR number in the book. You know that!
(Klaus) It's okay...

evil voice in backgound- "It is NOT!! I don't ever want her fucking calling! This
isn't (muffled) fucking cunt bitch!


(Klaus) It's okay!
(me) Who are you talking to? Me or her?
(Klaus) You.
(me) Me? Sounds like you should be telling HER that. Is she crazy?
Does she honestly think I'm calling to get you back? I assure
you, that is not the case.

more muffled sounds on the line...finally, it is quiet.


(Klaus) I'm very busy this week. I can get it to you in about a week.
Where do you work?
(me) I am self-employed. Bringing it to my job is out of the
question.
(Klaus) What about Ron? Does he still live in the same place?
(me) Ah, yes. I'll let him know to expect it.
(Klaus) Okay. Can I get his number? I'll call before I stop by.
(me) His number's in the book, just like yours...

I gave him the phone number

(Klaus) Okay. Ah, it'll be next week...
(me) Yeah, you said that already. Ah, bye.
(Klaus) Bye

phone hangs up

I immediately call Ron (at Fluffy Stuffin') to let him know what is up. While on the phone to him, Ron gets another call and clicks over to it. Ron comes back to our call. "Camie? That was Klaus. He told me to tell you that he just spoke to your dad. He is dropping the gun off to him in person". Now I get another call on my phone. Caller ID says it's my parents. I tell Ron I'll phone him later and switch over to my parents call.

My mother, oblivious to this gun issue tells me that Klaus called my dad. She gives the phone to my dad who is laughing. "That was fast! Klaus said he wanted to drop it off to me in person. He wanted to make sure it got to me safely. He wasn't comfortable dropping it off at Ron's". More laughing... I say, "Oh, wouldn't that be something? I use all the paranoid shit he taught me and turn it against him." More laughing from my dad....

*name has been changed for obvious reasons...

So, there you have it. This post sat in the draft file for a week before I could actually post it. Klaus was to drop the gun off to my dad this past Saturday... Yeah, right. The fuck never did as he said. My dad doesn't want to "make waves" by calling Klaus out on it. My parents have asked me NOT to phone him again. I had a hard time shoving that down. What a gutless piss ant Klaus is. Wow, I am tempted to let his real name be known....Dear Klaus, "I'll be your number one with a bullet. (you have)A loaded gun complex, cock it and pull it!"

title credit: Ron at Fluffy Stuffin'
ending credit: "Sugar, we're goin' down" by Fall Out Boy

Sunday, April 02, 2006

"Everybody's working for the weekend....."

Members of the O.P.F.C. fan club(MI Chapter):

Yes, it's that time again. Our favorite day of the week. Sunday. Breaking news out of the U.K. suggest that our team, the "smokin' zimmers", also known as the Old Pretenders, have done it again by putting their opponents to shame. As of yet, there is no word on the official ending score (sorry-bet payouts will be delayed until score is announced). Please forward yourself to C.E.O. of the O.P.'s and goalie fantastic, 4D's blog. You will find an exclusive photo of 4D in all his glory. The angle of the shot, may be a little off, as the photo depicts 4D in his pajamas, and *gasp* a baseball cap. Yes, loyal members, it looks as if 4D reads his fan mail and is reponding to our call for more American fashions within their fine organization. A baseball cap! Hear our hearts flutter! And the casual pajama attire! Squeal! Okay, get a hold of yourselves... Remember, this is speculation about the uniform. I do feel that our next letter writing campaign should focus on the topic of ear candling, as the team is complaining that their equilibrium is "off". Too much earwax may be the culprit.

Check back for more updates, and send a huge shout out to the O.P's!

UPDATE!
The final score was 5 - 2. A commanding lead!
Big thanks go out to deadpuppy, of the West Coast Chapter, for providing the info we've all been waiting for! For all of those who bet against the hallowed O.P.'s, you deserve an empty wallet, sucker!


title credit: "Working for the Weekend" by Loverboy
(I swear I heard Loverboy on Punky Radio...)