Thursday, November 30, 2006

The room smelled like mortality.

I spent all day yesterday at the hospital with my sister and father, to support my mother in what should have been a routine procedure. My mom failed a stress test, and was having slight chest pains two weeks ago. It was recommended by her doctor that she go in for an exploratory procedure to see if all was okay with her heart. Worst case scenario would involve the insertion of a stent into one of the arteries. I should also mention that during the stress test, it was found that her carotid artery, the main blood supply to the brain was blocked. The doctors felt that it would be best to deal with the heart issues first, then go back and clear the coradid artery in 3 months.

She went into surgery at 1pm. The doctor came out at 2:45 pm, to say that the artery on the lower left side of her heart was 95% blocked, and that they were unsuccessful in getting both stents into place. The wanted to wait until the morning to finish the surgery, as they had used the maximum amount of radioactive dye needed to view the procedure and didn't want her to go into kidney failure. The three of us were allowed to go back to see her one at a time. My sister was the last one to go in, and while she was there, my mother began having intense chest pains. They immediately took her back into the operating room to finish the surgery, fearing a massive heart attack. Once again, they were unable to get into the vein. It was too blocked. The surgeon again came into the waiting room, this time asking us to come into a consultation room where we could talk in private. This time he said that he was unable to get in, and that the only option was to perform open heart surgery, a bypass. He wanted to consult another surgeon before beginning the proceedure, and he would be back in a few minutes to talk with us more. Those few minutes seemed like an eternity. Now two doctors are coming towards us, the looks on their faces didn't look good. The second doctor then said " This situation isn't looking good. We don't feel that your wife/mother is able to withstand open heart surgery, due to the clogged carotid artery and her weight. We fear that if we go thru with it, she will either not make it through the surgery, or will have a stroke during recovery. There is also a high chance of infection, pneumonia, and blood clots. We recommend that she be taken to the Cardiac Intensive Care unit and have a controlled heart attack. Since we can not repair the vein, a heart attack is going to happen. We will control it with nitroglycerin, and morphine for the pain. If it ends up being more of a heart attack then we think, we will then take her into surgery for a by-pass".

The three of us sat their with stunned looks on our faces. I saw my father cry for the first time in my life. I told the doctors I wanted to see her, immediately. They agreed and took my father and me back to see her. I thought she would be in the recovery area, but I was wrong. My father and I were escorted into the actual operating room, where my mother was on a stretcher waiting to hear what was to happen to her. At that point she had no idea. My dad and I waited at my mothers feet, as the doctor explained to her what was happening telling her all that was told to us. All she said was "Okay, I'll do whatever needs to happen. I have two grandchildren that I would like to see before I die". The doctor excused himself and my father and I approached. She had no idea that we had been standing there while the doctor gave her the news. She smiled a weak smile and said everything was going to be okay.

They moved her into the Cardiac ward, pumped her full of nitroglycerin and morphine. I spoke to her at 10am this morning. She said she had chest pains all night long, but they stopped by morning. I have no idea at this point if the controlled heart attack is over, or still ongoing. I'll have more news later tonight. As for the carotid artery, they intend on cleaning that out in about 4-6 weeks. In a way, I am glad they can do it sooner than they originally thought. However, if that surgery goes the direction of this last one, well...

Dec. 12, 2006 UPDATE

Spoke to my mom this morning. She had a very bad night last evening, with pain levels at 10. They gave her 3 consecutive morphine shots, but the pain still cut through. Her doctor isn't happy with what is going on with her. He wants to transfer her to another hospital, one that is better able to handle her condition. The hospital is an hour away from my parents house, about and hour and a half form my house, and my sisters. I can tell by my mom's voice, that she isn't doing well. She is saying things like "this is going from bad to worse" and " if something happens, I am still going to be watching you all". This is very disturbing to me. She won't let me come to see her, telling me that I have my own things I need to take care of (my son, the baby) and that the weather is too bad for me to travel. I am not allowed to call her friends or business people to tell them anything about this. I can't understand why she feels she has to do this all by herself. This is the worst feeling I have ever felt in my life.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Wow! An online quiz that actually matches me.

I stole this from Laura, over at In Pursuit of Perfection.



You are The Wheel of Fortune


Good fortune and happiness but sometimes a species of
intoxication with success


The Wheel of Fortune is all about big things, luck, change, fortune. Almost always good fortune. You are lucky in all things that you do and happy with the things that come to you. Be careful that success does not go to your head however. Sometimes luck can change.


What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.



Even better: *A has a great thing going at his blog today. He and Red found a bunch of fortune cookies over the weekend. He is giving fortunes out to those who request them. This was mine:

"Real friendship is shown in times of trouble; prosperity is full of friends."

Thursday, November 23, 2006

What we did last night...





The Vog family are members of the Toledo Zoo. Each year the zoo staff decorate the entire zoo with the most amazing light display. These are just a couple of the photos from last night. I encourage you to click here to see a great video of the lights in action. The video was captured by our friend Fluffy Stuffin' on his itty bitty Sony camera. Dispite the cameras small size, it came through for us with some fairly good graphics and incredible sound.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Another great blog down for the count!

It saddens me to see yet another great blog deleted due to an employer. Apparently, there is no safe way to express ones self in this world. The business fucktards of this world would truely like to see a homoginized population. One that is void of true personal expression and fact. We all know that this idealized perception is false. That is why we have readership.

There are ways around this in regards to our blogs.

Don't use your real name, ever.
Stop telling your co-workers about your blogs. Even if you think they are your friend.
Get rid of personal pictures of yourself and your family members on your blog.
Change names and situations that you want to write about. You can still bitch about your issues without being overtly obvious.

I know we are all making friends through our blogs. Save your personal info for the email. Make sure that your blog buddy understands that they are never to devulge your name, status, and whatever else you want to stay hidden via their blogs. Always ask permission before forwarding another bloggers info to others.

You will notice that I have very few pictures of myself on this blog...One, I think. No one knows my husbands name, or his profession. My real name isn't anywhere on a post. I have one pic of my kid, which I most likely will remove, and his name is never mentioned.

Please be safe. I like you all and hate to have to see you go.

This ones for you Dullard! I will miss you very much! Please stay in contact.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

"I had too much to dream last night..."

I rarely, if ever, talk about my sex life on this blog. Don't get all happy, thinking that I am going to start now, because I'm not. I will, however, devulge a little of what has been happening in my dream state.

I have noticed an increase of really strange dreams since finding out that I am pregnant. It has to be the abundance of hormones racing through my cells which is causing this. Normally, the dreams take on an "action/adventure" theme. Now they are taking on a whole new James Bond-esque quality, complete with bizarre sexual sub-themes. (Don't worry, my special blog friend. I am not going to mention the ones about you. I will maintain that only you hear about those.)

All righty... last nights dream horror:

I had sex with Oliver North! I seduced him! To top it all off, he started out in full Military dress. Oh, you don't think that is bad? I ended up with Ollie after Bill O'Reilly turned me down! I woke up thinking EEEWWWW! Double EEEEWWWW! Why, oh why, does my brain do this to me. I can't stand Bill O'Reilly, so much so that I am not putting a linky thing in for him. I never watch his show on FoxNews. I don't find him sexy, that is for sure. I also think his voice is nasty. And Ollie, though he looks a little better than Bill, he still isn't a fantasy man. I don't watch his show either, and haven't paid much attention to him since the Iran/Contra affair. I think I may have fallen asleep watching FoxNews late at night, too many times. Yeah, that's it! Totally subliminal. I'm sure of it. Because I'll be damned if I admit that my brain has betrayed me.

Geez, and I thought last weeks sex dream staring the Naked Chef, Jamie Oliver was bad. Least with him I walked out once I realized who he was. Wait! Jamie Oliver...Oliver North...hmmm. Maybe my brain is telling me I need to eat more olives. Yeah. Bill O'Reilly's head is kind of shaped like an olive. Must add olives to shopping list...



title credit: "Too Much To Dream (last night)" by the Electric Prunes.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

"Been caught stealin'..."

Factorizer

Okay, I stole this from Cynnie, who stole it from Cappy, who stole it from someone else.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

"Should I Stay, Or Should I Go?"

As I have mentioned before, my family is broke. We have lived in poverty for almost 5 years. There are many reasons for this.

1. We live in one of the most expensive areas of Michigan.
2. The economy of Michigan is the worst it has been, since the 1980's.
3. A career change (we thought for the better) 4 years ago involving a shitty Union, which resulted in providing nothing to us (well, it brought a lot of grief).
4. The birth of a child, soon to be children.

I have reached my breaking point concerning our financial status, and things must change. I am 38, my husband is 44. We have no savings, no retirement plans. In Feb. 2007 another child will be joining our household. I have watched my clients dwindle, my husband apply for jobs in this state and never getting a call back. He is repeatedly told that he is over qualified, or under qualified. I am tired of always wondering where the rent money is coming from.

As much as I don't want to leave this state, I am beginning to realize it may be our only option. As I read my internet news page last week, I came across an article about how the state of Wyoming has been sending people to Michigan to recruit for skilled workers. I contacted the work force board in Wyoming and asked what the qualifications where. I was amazed to hear that my husband fits all there requirements, and then some. They recently sent out this huge package touting how great Wyoming is. I have spent hours on the internent looking at the area of interest, wondering if I could blend well within the community and still stay as sane as possible, and picking Diana's brain about the in's and outs of living in the state. Most of you bloggers know Diana. Her emails to me have been cause of great discusions and debate in my house of late. I am greatful for her input.

If we are to move there, our income will increase 4 times the amount it currently is. The cost of housing is the same as in Ann Arbor. Shopping will be at a Walmart, which makes me a little creeped out. They seem to have most of the same chain restaurants, lots of coffee shops, new schools, libraries, and recreational facilities. The weather is similar to Michigan, except for the snow and rain amounts. Double the snow, and the rain is 3/4ths less than Michigan's annual amount. The sun is out way more in Wyoming than in Michigan. Diana has pointed out that everything is spread out, and it is not uncommon to drive two hundred miles to get to anywhere. Yep, the nearest Target to the area I am looking at is 200 miles away, and in a different state (S. Dakota). They have no Old Navy's and bookstores are limited to christian type books. I tell myself that I can always shop via the internet for the things I want and need. Geez, just the thought of being able to have the extra cash for a luxury such as a book makes me giddy. Ah, and music...I'd like to buy some music! If we do go, our goal is to be back to Ann Arbor within 5 years. Perhaps by then, the economy will get better in the area.

There you have it. I have had a lot on my mind, and the computer has been used for research, not blog writing. Let me know what your opinion is on moving 1,000 miles away from my home state. Thanks again Diana for all your help. I will be in contact. And Biddie, I know it is the U.S., but do you want to come with us? It would be nice to have someone like me to hang out with. And Fluffy, I really don't mean to depress you.